dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
