dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
