I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
