So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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