loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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