it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
