What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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