First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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