I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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