I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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