Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
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