She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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