she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
you inspire me to be a worse person
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
