New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Randomize