I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I am mentally ready for anal.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
