i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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