NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
