No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize