I just made out with a guy for $7.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just google imaged poop.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize