I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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