plz talk dirty to me
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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