I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize