Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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