we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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