Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
