hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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