is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
