i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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