Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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