Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
