We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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