This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
