Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
