im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Slut skills are useful in every country.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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