Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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