Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
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