This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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