your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
