All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
