I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
