How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
