So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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