If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
