There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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