i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
