What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
