Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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