I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
