yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
