I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
