He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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