She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
