how can u be prego again
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
