You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The uberlube is also flammable
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize