The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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