You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize