i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
