Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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