dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
