I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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