I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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