Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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